Total Frustration

So the surgeon canceled Ryan's surgery (after weeks of planning, quarantine, caution) because he got Scarlet Fever on Monday. Even though he was discharged from the hospital in good health, his lungs sounded great and his blood work was good, they just were concerned- because of that one stupid strep test. We would never proceed if we thought there was any increased risk. It is frustrating because this is healthy for Ryan- - - As his MD said this is as good as he is going to get. Part of me just wanted to be over with and done with it. I'm tired of worrying about it and wondering if the surgery will "cure" some of the issues. I'm tired of all the illnesses, MD's, tests, research and not to mention seeing my children sick so often. I wish I had the answers. I would love for us to do more as a family, go to church together, start pre-school, worry about things such as weight loss, selling our house, where to go out to eat, if these jeans make my backside look big. I guess I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed and depressed right now. It's time to get out the Magic 8 ball again so we can plan our future.